Obituary of Jay Allen

I, Jay Allen, died on July 15, 2024. I resided in Cortland, N.Y. since November 2019. I write my own obituary ahead for two reasons. The first I detest the words passed away, I did not pass away, I died! They say avoiding the words died or death eases the grief. I doubt that. Secondly, any personal thoughts about me and my life I want to originate from me. Any who knew me and may think of me now or later will, I hope, remember me with love, respect and happiness. Soon my ashes will rest next to my wife’s in our urn. A bit of my soul, again hopefully, will become a part of each of your souls until your time is at hand.

I was predeceased by my wife Shirley in August of 2019, just a few weeks before the date of our 63rd wedding anniversary. I am survived by our three children; Michael (Patti) in Cortland, N.Y. Jeffrey (Chris Abbuhl) in Belchertown, Mass. and Cathy (Adam) DeGarmo in Cortlandt Manor, NY, our grandchildren; Brian and Megan Allen, Margaret and Henry DeGarmo, great granddaughter; Harper Allen and six nieces and nephews.

My wife and I spent most of our working years in New York with an eight year interval in Massachusetts. We both retired in the late 90’s, I from NYSEG and she from Cornell University. In 1998, we built a home in Calabash, NC and enjoyed 21 years almost becoming southerners. I returned to New York in 2019 to be near our families.

Throughout my life I was involved in the activities of many community and service organizations. I was past master of Dryden, N.Y. Masonic lodge, a member of the Dryden School Board, President of the Dryden Sertoma Club, President of the Etna N.Y. Community Assoc. (enjoyed many years taking part in Etna’s white water derby, both as a volunteer and a paddler with one of our children in the bow.) I was President of the Carolina Shores North Property Owners Assoc.

I was an avid hiker and climber. A serious neck injury in 2021 ended my goal of becoming an Adirondack 46er, but my final total of 32 peaks scaled gave my entire family many enjoyable memories of our trips. Since high school years I was active in team sports and during our children’s school years I coached many seasons in youth leagues (never could skate well enough to try hockey). As an avid Red Sox and Blue Devils fan, I forgive all my Yankee and Tar Heels friends and thank you for the memories of all our “discussions.”

Yes, you are right! Not quite the “normal” obituary. Some of you may smile, others may have a forgotten memory suddenly pop up. Thank you, that was my hope.